Everyone couldn't know the torment that I was being put through.I went to my car and started home. Half way to my apartment I passed the Goodwill thrift shop and I remembered the alterations that Jamal had required in my dresses. I pulled into the parking lot and shut off my car. I sat in my car for a long time, trying to think. Was I really going to do this for that boy? Was I going to let him determine what I wore? I knew that if I did, if I dressed the way he demanded, he would soon be having sex with me. I will have surrendered.But then I reminded myself that I had already surrendered. And Jamal and his gang were all well aware of it. I had said nothing about the assaults of the last two days. I dreaded going to school tomorrow dressed as he had demanded. If I didn't, though, I knew that he would certainly make good on his promise to alter my clothing and embarrass me even more.I knew that I was sinking deeper and deeper into a situation that was spiraling out of control. I knew. Apparently, it never snows up here, but it can't be far off, and there is no heating in the cabaña or their house. They grew up around here and heating is for wimps. They've got a chimney and a fireplace but they never use it. They just wear another sweater and a big pair of boots. Even in the bigger village a few miles away, in the cafes, they don't light the fire for customers,. You're supposed to drink hot chocolate and eat hearty local soups to warm up.I've been in hot weather countries for years and have no warm clothes left, so I spend my days in two t-shirts, shirt and suit jacket, which is the only outer garment I now possess.So, this morning I'm in Gabi's house – she's always here but Esme lives in the city and only comes up at weekends – because I need the internet and it's not working in the cabaña. It's an old stone house and I'm sitting in the dining room, from where I can see the kitchen, just beyond which is the bathroom. Gabi is making breakfast, boiling water for.
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